Date: Mon May 7, 2001 8:45 am

My baby took his life not quite a year ago while withdrawing from Prozac... At first I was so angry at God... Why? He had never been suicidal, just depressed, but I worried about him because my husband has suffered depression all his life. He was such a good boy - an honor student, attending a gifted and talented class at his local jr high school. He always looked out for the underdog. He had such a sense of humor, and was working towards his Eagle Scout Merit Badge. He never wanted to be on the drug, and finally decided to withdraw on his own. I was aware of his intent, and knew he was tapering off. I really hadn't any reason to think the drug was dangerous, and I had complete confidence in our family doctor....

He was fourteen years old at the time he took a gun and shot himself in the head... After several months of anguish and searching for an answer, I now understand. I am determined to spend the rest of my life in bringing these guys down. My baby's death will not be in vain. (He always hated me calling him "my baby", but he was my youngest.. he'll always be my baby). I will do everything in my power to re-educate the masses. I will breath my last breath fighting for this cause if that's what it takes....

And my husband... he was prescribed Paxil by the same doctor. After learning about the dangers of the SSRI drugs, I bought Dr. Tracy's tape. He tried to go off and went wacko. The experience frightened him so badly, that he went back to his full dosage - only 20 mg. per/day. He is too frightened to try again.. I fear for him. I fear if he doesn't try again, he'll be as messed up as poor Joey's husband. He is not the same man, and I have to keep reminding myself that it's not his fault... If it's anyone's, it's mine... A few years ago I was so frustrated with him and his depression I threatened to leave him if he didn't get some help.... Oh, Icee, I was so ignorant.... I just didn't know....

I am no longer mad at God - this is not of him. He loves his children. He is aware of our suffering. I am as certain of this as I know the sun will come up again tomorrow. He is aware of you, but he wants you to come to him. Talk with him and he will walk with you. You will make it out of this hellish nightmare. Be Brave. Be Strong. Know that there are so many that love and care about you. If you haven't already, please be sure and go to the prozactruth website at www.prozactruth.com and sign on to the Paxil injunction declaration. Then tell everyone else you know that is on this drug to sign on. We need every valiant warrior to fight!

Icee, yesterday is gone. There is nothing we can do to change what happened yesterday. Tomorrow is uncertain. We must sieze each new day, and take life one day at a time. My love goes out to you. Your ever watchful friend,

Avenging Angel

Date: Tue May 8, 2001 1:12 am

Dawn,(Avenging Angel), my heart is aching for you right now and I think I may startcrying. I can't imagine the pain you went through to lose your "baby" your wonderful son. The fact that you are here and trying to keep someone else from going through that says so much about you. You are an absolutely wonderful person. I too believe in God and prayer and I pray for you too that you can find comfort whenever you need it.

Pam