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             2 deaths may hold lessons for new moms 
             Friends aim to warn others about illness August 26, 2004
             
             
             
             
             
             
             BY ALEXA 
            CAPELOTOFREE PRESS STAFF WRITER
 
             
             Mary Ellen Moffitt filled her St. Clair Shores home with 
            inspirational quotes, smiling family photos and whimsical images 
            like the chefs dancing around the border of her kitchen.
             
             
             
              
              She 
            delighted in young children, opening her arms every morning to hug 
            the first-graders who trooped into her classroom.
                | Postpartum depression |  
                | A panel 
                  discussion on postpartum depression will be at 7 p.m. Monday 
                  at St. Joan of Arc Catholic Church, 22412 Overlake St. in St. 
                  Clair Shores. The event is open to the public. Here are some 
                  symptoms associated with postpartum depression, which experts 
                  say afflicts 10 to 20 percent of all women who are or have 
                  been pregnant: 
                   
                  Restlessness or sleeplessness. 
                  Racing thoughts. 
                  Loss of appetite. 
                  Tearfulness. 
                   Some places to call for information or help:
                   
                  The National Women's Health Information 
                  Center: 800-994-9662. 
                  Depression After Delivery Inc.: 800-944-4773. 
                  Postpartum Education for Parents: 
                  805-564-3888. Sources: The National Women's Health Information 
                  Center and Free Press research |  
             She was the last person anyone thought capable of harming a 
            newborn. Especially her own.
             
             But friends said the Mary Ellen who apparently suffocated her 
            5-week-old daughter and herself July 26 was not really Mary Ellen at 
            all. She was a woman transformed by postpartum depression, 
            unfamiliar and unreachable to those who knew her best.
             
             "This is just something the Mary Ellen I knew was just not 
            capable of," said Dave Grupenhoff, best friend of Moffitt's husband 
            Daniel Moffitt. "That to me was a real eye-opener as to the risks of 
            postpartum depression."
             
             One month later, the disbelief still grips Moffitt's friends and 
            relatives, along with grief and stabs of guilt. They're seeking 
            redemption in the deaths by helping other women who struggle with 
            the condition.
             
             The Catholic church the Moffitts attend is holding a panel 
            discussion Monday on postpartum depression. Grupenhoff and other 
            friends are establishing a nonprofit foundation for outreach and 
            education. And local doctors are urging better health care for new 
            mothers.
             
             "There have been some people who said, 'How could she do that? 
            Why take the baby with her?' " said Sister Carol Juhasz, who 
            organized the panel at St. Joan of Arc Catholic Church in St. Clair 
            Shores. "It is their way of trying to work through it."
             
             Daniel Moffitt said he still is in too much pain to attend the 
            discussion or talk publicly about the deaths of his wife, 37, and 
            daughter, Caroline Aurelia Moffitt. But he told the Free Press, "My 
            wife was a very beautiful and intelligent person ... I 
            wholeheartedly support the various efforts under way to promote 
            awareness of postpartum issues."
             
             It was Daniel Moffitt who found his wife's body. He came home 
            from work and she was on their bed, a garbage bag over her head and 
            earplugs in her ears. Police found the baby wrapped in a blanket 
            beneath cushions on the living room sofa. Mary Ellen Moffitt died of 
            asphyxiation, according to her autopsy report. The report on 
            Caroline's death is pending.
             
             Juhasz said some St. Joan of Arc parishioners began talking about 
            their own experiences with postpartum depression after the deaths. 
            Sensing a greater need for information, she tracked down three 
            licensed therapists and a reproductive psychiatrist for the panel.
             
             Around the same time, Grupenhoff and other longtime friends of 
            the Moffitts thought of forming a nonprofit in Mary Ellen's honor. 
            They met with an attorney Wednesday to start their plan.
             
             "Mary Ellen was always very interested in helping people, so this 
            was something we wanted to do that was consistent with what she 
            believed in her life," Grupenhoff, 39, of Rochester Hills said.
             
             Mary Ellen Moffitt could be bubbly and warm but she struggled 
            with depression and was seeking treatment for postpartum depression 
            before her death. At her husband's urging, she made an appointment 
            with her obstetrician two weeks after Caroline's birth instead of 
            waiting the usual six weeks.
             
             Friends knew she was taking Paxil as part of her treatment. Large 
            amounts of the antidepressant and the painkiller Darvocet were in 
            her system when she died.
             
             Macomb County Medical Examiner Dr. Werner Spitz said the drug 
            levels suggest she was numbing herself in preparation for death.
             
             Her use of Paxil puts her story in the middle of a national 
            debate about the potentially harmful side effects of 
            antidepressants. In March, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration 
            urged the makers of Paxil and nine other drugs to put a stronger 
            warning on their labels about the need to closely monitor users for 
            suicidal thoughts.
             
             Although her husband, mother and other relatives helped care for 
            Caroline as much as they could, she still foundered.
             
             She called one friend who also had just given birth and asked, 
            "What are we doing? Did we mess up our lives?"
             
             The anxious questions were a sharp contrast to her excitement 
            during her pregnancy. "When I was pregnant with my youngest 
            daughter, she said, 'You don't know how lucky you are. We've been 
            trying so hard,' " said Aylex Araque, whose two children were in 
            Mary Ellen Moffitt's first-grade class at Crescentwood Elementary 
            School in Eastpointe.
             
             Dr. Ronald Rosenberg, a Birmingham psychiatrist who will speak at 
            St. Joan of Arc next week, said women who are high achievers or who 
            have grappled with infertility can be more vulnerable to postpartum 
            depression which is triggered by a fluctuation of hormones.
             
             Araque, 33, of Roseville said her daughter Uribi, 7, screamed 
            when she saw the news about her favorite teacher.
             
             Araque said she worried her daughter wouldn't understand the 
            illness. But during counseling at the school, Uribi was asked 
            whether she was mad at her teacher. "No," the child said.
             
             "It's like being in a large room with no doors, no windows and a 
            large TV with only awful images, no button to turn it off, and no 
            one there to open the door."
             
             Contact ALEXA CAPELOTO at 
            586-469-4935 or capeloto@freepress.com.
             
             
             
             
             
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